Did you ever have a friend that you enjoyed arguing with, and seemed to do it all the time? I did. Back in college. There was a girl who would say the most ridiculous things, (I think) begging for me to argue with her. Things like, “U2 stinks and country music is great.” And the list went on and on. We all called her crazy. She was.
And then I married her.
So now I have another friend like that. My coworker Brandon. We argue all the time. I’ll say something like, “Phil Keaggy has the greatest concert ever. Everyone should spend at least an hour of his/her life at a concert of his.” And he’ll say, “You could never, ever take me to something like that. I will die before it happens. I will however, be at the concert of _________________ (insert name of bad heavy metal band here).” And the argument will begin. He likes the Cubs, I like the Braves. I like Mexican food, he won’t eat Mexican food. I think soda is the creation of Satan himself to load us up with weird artificial stuff that gives us cancer. He thinks that drinking tap water anywhere is unhealthy (so he always gets a Sprite). The problem is that I actually really enjoy talking to him, so I don’t run from the conversation…and we end up spending a significant amount of time arguing. I don’t think he minds it either though.
Last week were driving back from lunch and he made a comment so wrong that I almost pulled the car over, got out and had a fist fight right there on the side of the road to settle it. We were talking about groceries and he had the audacity to say:
“I used to shop at Kroger, but it got too expensive so I switched to Publix. Publix is SO much cheaper then Kroger.”
Don’t hear me wrong here. I love Publix. They really do make shopping a pleasure. But I also love the truth. And the truth is that Kroger is always, always, always cheaper than Publix. My father-in-law is probably the smartest shopper on earth. Since he retired a year or two ago, he’s had even more time to shop and he’s pretty much mastered the art of paying the least possible for anything. And he swears by Kroger. His endorsement pretty much settles it. This issue isn’t really up for debate. Kroger wins the cheap groceries in Nashville award (unless you go to aldi. Don’t even get me started on that…).
But in the moment that day in the car, I held my tongue. Well, mostly. I told him he was wrong, and crazy, as I usually do. And he responded that I was wrong, and crazy, as he usually does too. But I dropped it there.
So yesterday we were on our way back from lunch and Brandon had the audacity to express his views on prices at Kroger and Publix again. He had yet to see the light, so I decided it was time to help him.
“What is actually cheaper at Publix?” I asked.
“Everything. For example, our granola bars. They’re like 6 bucks at Kroger. At Publix they’re 2.99.” he responded.
“Fine. Let’s go.” And with that, we went to Kroger. (which thankfully, is right by my house and conviently across the street from Publix, which made settling this issue simple) We got to the granola bar isle and I said, “Where are your granola bars? There are are the ones I buy. $2.80 a box.”
He responded that he did not share my granola bar preferences, and that he preferred the Cascadian Farms Organic Granola Bars. It turns out that organic foods have their own special section at Kroger, so we went over there. This section is easy to find–there is a large tree in the store for you to hug while you pick out your organic granola and gluten free breakfast cereal. (okay, just kidding about that part)
“Here it is, $4.39. On sale for $4.00 this week.”
Yay. So we drove across the street to Publix and found it there. Sure enough.
“$3.49, every day price. See! I told you it was cheaper!” he said.
The best part of the whole disagreement is that we still argue about it. I get to say he’s wrong because he found one single ridiculous item and it was only cheaper by 50 cents and not the 3 dollars that he was bragging about. He gets to say I’m wrong because, in fact, it is cheaper. Just like he said. Hm.
Can anybody back me up here?
